Fortress
I don't think I can accurately put words on my thoughts right now. They are great thoughts. Have you ever been so consumed in wanting to do something? Have you ever wanted to do something so badly that you almost get sick to your stomach when you aren't doing it? I am in that situation right now.
I want to serve God so badly. I want Him to use me as His instrument. It is my consuming passion to serve Him. There is one problem, I have sin. This is what prevents me from doing so. I am letting sin tumble down my fortress. Today in the Czech meeting we were talking about this one castle we visited last year. There was only one entrance to the castle. To enter it you had to climb a spiral staircase where you would have to be left handed to draw your sword. After climbing the staircase you had to go through this tiny door where someone would be waiting to kill any intruder. I want my fortress to be built up like this against the sin in my life, but at the same time I hope that it is easier for others to enter my castle. I want people to be drawn to my castle, my life because of the King, Christ, who lives in me. I hope that I don't put up the same defense against other people.
The reason I am failing in my defense is I have been blind. I thought that by living a good life, I was fine. I mean I don't to anything outrageous, I try not to engage in any activity that I think is wrong. This is where I have been blinded. I have thought that I have lived a great life. But in reality good is not perfect. God didn't accept any good sacrifices in the temple. God only accepted the perfect sacrifices. And Christ was the perfect sacrifice. The only way I can serve God is by being like his Son. I have to live as Christ. The only way I can achieve perfection is through the blood of Christ. Through the perfect sacrifice.
It is funny how to serve God; He has to serve you with His perfect gift. But that is the way God wants it. God is the perfect Servant-Leader. SO was Christ. He put Himself last and others before Him. I need God's help to rebuild my fortress. Once it is built strong, I will be ready!
<>< Maggie
posted by Maggie @ 9:35 PM
1 Comments:
Hey Maggie,
As always, I'm very proud of who you are. You wrote:
Have you ever been so consumed in wanting to do something? Have you ever wanted to do something so badly that you almost get sick to your stomach when you aren't doing it?
That describes my life. I think that is just further evidence that ministry is a true CALLING on your life and not just a desire. When you have such a burden, it's because God has placed that there and you will almost seem imcomplete until that is fulfilled. Remember, only Christ can fulfill you. Not even the "purposes of God" can take God's place. I know that I did ministry for a while and then "got out," only to have the most miserable two years of my life. It's what I'm here for, and I know there is more to come. I heard a preacher (T.D. Jakes) say one time that there is direct correlation in the amount of time spent in preparation and the size of the task God has in store for you. i.e. Moses prep time for leading Israel, wandering in the wilderness before entering the promised land. The loger you wait, the greater the task. I have a feeling you may wait longer than you want. I really believe God is going to use you for big things. Can't wait to see. Your sin may cause you to limp in your walk with God. Limp all the way, following his purposes. A friend of mine told me before coming to GACS, to strap in, hold on, and enjoy the ride. You too.
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